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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046687">Betrayal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilDark/pseuds/LilDark'>LilDark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merlin Pet Peeves [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Big A/N, First time writing Merlin fic, It's not a happy ending, Merlin will still blame himself, Morgana will still be dark, My thoughts on how I would have preferred an event to go, No pairing - Freeform, No poisoning, What if-story, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:15:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilDark/pseuds/LilDark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is me trying to put my thoughts on paper in an ordeal fashion in regards to the poisoning event in the series (which is hugely overdone). </p><p>Or - What if Merlin never poisoned Morgana but she still betrayed him?</p><p>*Cross-posted on Fanfiction.net*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merlin Pet Peeves [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Betrayal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. The TV-show is owned by both the BBC and Shine.</p><p>A/N: Hello everyone and welcome to this new prompt that I couldn't let go off after falling back into the Merlin-fandom two weeks ago. I have always loved the series, but after season 5 I needed a break and even now I feel thoroughly sad with the ending and everything involving Merlin's destiny. Which is why I've stuck to the 'better' episodes and of course the compilations made for YouTube. </p><p>Anyway, this is my first time writing for the Merlin fandom and this prompt will actually be about a part of the series I just can't... Well, I can't understand as to why the writers would go for certain options in general in regards to the series, but this one part continues to keep me baffled. Especially because there is no follow-up on it. At least, in my eyes I am not satisfied with a proper follow-up of the 'event'. </p><p>What I am talking about is the fact Merlin tried to poison Morgana and yes, I know this is majorly overdone, but I still wanted to take a shot at it either way. In example: what if Merlin hadn't listened to all the voices surrounding him? What if he had showed Morgana he had magic and how would the betrayal of her turning to the dark side would have looked like then?</p><p>Alas, those are the current questions running through my mind and I just wished to show you my thoughts on what I would have liked to see had happened. </p><p>Also, I am sorry for the massive A/N, but here we are either way. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>How could she?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It were the first few thoughts running through his mind as Merlin felt the hurt of betrayal infect him from deep inside his very soul like the pain always did. When all had told him not to speak to her, he had told Morgana of his magic either way. He had shown her that their gifts were not evil and that they were <em>very</em> capable of doing wonderful <em>good</em> things.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had smiled in his boyish, innocent way as Morgana had soaked up every word he had uttered and she had been beautiful as she had smiled with a certain peace falling over her. Her green eyes had sparkled while he had shown her what his magic could do and as the hours prolonged: the raven-haired man had seen how Morgana had eased her fear away.</p><p> </p><p>Her nightmares still scared her and Merlin had been reprimanded for his actions. The Great Dragon had warned him once more that her knowledge of magic was dangerous and Gaius hadn't been too keen either, though he was the only one who eventually had a change of heart. Yet, it was agreed upon that the older man's abilities to perform little magic was kept hidden and his ward didn't even think of telling Morgana of his Druid name.</p><p> </p><p>Still, it was nice to have someone to whisper to whilst Lancelot was still gone and it was exhilarating to practise what little magic they could. Morgana's sworn secrecy did him good and them sharing it underneath Uther's nose made him grin whenever Merlin thought about it. Plus, her playing along with his lies to keep Arthur safe had them both chuckling with the shared eye-roll whenever the time was right.</p><p> </p><p>He should have seen, however, that her thirst for knowledge was greater than the time they were able to share in secrecy and that her hatred for Uther grew with each passing second. Merlin had had hope that talking about it would have worked, but Morgause was able to persuade Morgana in ways he could not. He was not her sibling, after all, and while he had often times told her that serving Arthur was what would one day bring magic back to Camelot... He was not able to satisfy her anger, impatience and hatred for the world around her.</p><p> </p><p>Only a sliver of hope had grown in his chest when he had been able to tell her that Morgause had put an enchantment on her and that her own sister was using her for other ends. Morgana had at first retaliated, prior to confronting the blonde woman with her knowledge, but that had only squashed the hope afterwards, because Morgause's offer  had been too tempting for Morgana and Merlin had only been able to watch as both women had disappeared in the aftermath of the lifted enchantment.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana had joined her sister to learn more about the craft she had found deep within herself. She had left him behind in order to satisfy her thirst for knowledge and thus, when she had returned, the raven-haired man couldn't help himself but be wary. He was surprised to hear she would continue to keep his secret and at first, Merlin was almost as fooled as everyone else by her warm and elegant smiles. All too soon did he realise his mistake and it made a bitterness grown deep within him; one that made him wonder if he should have done it differently sometimes...</p><p> </p><p>Not that he wanted to on most occasions, although there were some moments Merlin wished he hadn't been so foolish. That he hadn't been a boy, but a man at the time, even though he very well realised it wouldn't have made a difference. Morgana had set her eyes on a different path and had been tricked into following it with all her might until the very moment she hadn't had a way back anymore. Much like him, she was now stuck in a destiny not of their making, but that didn't make it hurt any less.</p><p> </p><p>She had tried to use him to kill Arthur. She had flung him through the air and had choked him. She had known about his magic and had kept it hidden for, as he liked to point out, who would believe an evil sorceress? Who would believe that he, clumsy Merlin, had magic while she was the one causing havoc upon Camelot? He was but a servant, after all, and yet... that didn't make it hurt any less either. It didn't make the wrong right and it didn't make him understand her ways. It didn't make his own pain and anger any less, especially not when, in his eyes, she was the one to take all the happiness away from him.</p><p> </p><p>Running her through with the blade hadn't lifted any of his sorrow and self-hatred either, as he did blame himself for what had happened to her. He did blame himself, because he hadn't seen the signs early enough and he hadn't been able to teach her good enough. He had let her leave with Morgause and he had let her own hatred for Camelot fester inside her once warm heart. Merlin blamed himself for that and as he watched her die, the raven-haired man knew he would always carry that with him. Much like the pain of losing Arthur, much like the knowledge he had failed everyone...</p><p> </p><p>Merlin knew.</p><p> </p><p>But it didn't make the pain of her betrayal go away. It didn't make the thoughts leave him as he watched Arthur drift away on the Lake of Avalon, nor when he could finally pull himself away from the sight of the burning boat.</p><p> </p><p>They never left.</p><p> </p><p>They lingered, much like his pain and hope did... in a swirling storm without an end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all very much for reading and I am very sorry if this piece was confusing/depressing, but these are my thoughts on how things could have happened with Morgana still being led astray and with her betraying Merlin along the way. Which is depressing, but then again, most of Merlin's destiny is and well- Let's not go there for our own sake.  </p><p>Admittedly, I am very happy that this is off my mind now and my sincere apologies for any misspellings or errors that I have written. Again, thank you for reading. See you all soon :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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